Scheduling Mommy Time

I grew up in Hawaii. I am an island girl. I used to live on "island time". I used to believe that wearing a watch would cage my free spirit. I dreamed of far off places, unique cultures and foreign lands that I longed to discover once I got off the rock.

Looking back, I believe my love of change, spontaneity and traveling prepared me for the life I now have. I am a Cosmopolitan Housewife. Home is everywhere. We travel a lot and that hasn't really stopped now even with young kids. I have had to learn to be even more flexible and more open with my time because trips and plans change at a moments notice. I have had to operate on a lack of routine.
I have had to get pretty creative in how I do things.

-Nursing on the top of a double decker bus in the rain and in a moving taxi.
-Pumping on a lake boat, the airplane washroom and in a storage closet.
-Putting my girls down to sleep in various hotel rooms, cabins, yerts, airplanes, strollers, tour buses and boats.

With that being said, I never thought I'd be the type to ever be over organized or graph myself a schedule. However, here I am enjoying the process of creating a schedule and seeing the freedom and excitement a schedule can bring me! I have found with all the traveling, flexibility and lack of schedule I have had to have with our way of moving and living on this earth,  that the free spirited Cosmopolitan Housewife in me actually needs to come back to a sense of routine or normalcy once I set foot at home again or I'll go crazy (like a "child not on a schedule" crazy).

 I am a very passionate person. I love so many things. If I could I would be one of those Matrix agents that can download data into my brain on a million different topics. I wish I could soak my mind in so many things. Sometimes I can't make up my mind on what I want to be passionate about. When I became a mom, my heart and passion expanded for my kids, but my hunger to find time for me and my other passions just seemed to get stronger as well. I saw that I was losing a lot of "me" time. I desperately needed to find open spaces where I could play and feed my passionate spirit in the midst of the many daily tasks and overtime hours that the job title of motherhood requires.

How can I have intentional "me" times when the moment I get a break I am catching up on chores or wanting to take a long snooze on the couch? I realized that if I continued to not follow any format of a schedule, I would be losing time that could be life giving and intentional for me. Hence a SCHEDULE!

A well rested, well fed, loved and purpose filled mother can give her kids the best that she has.

If we as moms overwork ourselves and fill our beautiful moments of break times with non-life giving activities like : the never ending mundane task of dish washing, laundry and cleaning (mundane to me at least) we might go a little crazy and maybe act a little crazier towards our kids and our spouse. We need to love on ourselves and fill up our love tank so that we can love on others and give again. If we don't, we will be trying to run on empty.

 Unless cleaning and house chores is what you love and it breathes life into you, by all means have at it, love on yourself that way girl! I wish I was more like you, but unfortunately I am not.
There have been dear friends of mine that have offered to come over and fold my clothes and wash my dishes, saying very convincingly, " I LOVE folding clothes!" and "I LOVE washing dishes! Let me help you!" And all I can say is bless their hearts and the tidy planet that they come from, because I have no urge in me to fold or wash anyone's laundry or dishes! I know, I sound like a terrible person, I'm just being honest.  I don't even like doing my own laundry or dishes!  You can join me in praying for me to have a more serving heart. Wait, take that back. I do serve and I do like to serve others, don't get me wrong, but I did not receive any passion from above to LOVE the act of folding clothes and washing dishes, I'm just saying! Maybe God can shape me in that area.

 All day as moms of young ones we are giving, cleaning, driving, cooking, helping, feeding, correcting, teaching and playing with little people etc. And don't get me wrong these are all good things. We are loving on our kids by all of these acts. We are teaching them love by action. It's our divine calling from above.

But Mamas, how about for just one beautiful moment each day or just an ounce of space and stillness in our week, we give back to ourselves? Maybe it really is a rejuvenating nap? To read a chapter of a book? To be still before our Creator? A time to lift up all our cares and worries and pray as well as listen to God without any distraction? To create something: art? music? a story? To learn something new: A foreign language? a new recipe? a new exercise?  learning to use that bow and arrow set you got last Christmas?!

These are things I need to be intentional about in my life. Even if they are just small moments of time. We have to remind ourselves that sometimes the greatest ideas are formed in a matter of minutes. Sometimes the power and energy to make it through your day is found in a 10 minute nap on the couch. Sometimes a moment of therapy in prayer and listening to God is all we need to get back on the right footing again.

So I bought a chalk board frame and some chalk pens and voila! My weekly schedule (it serves as my guideline, so there is still room for flexibility)

I began to look at my weekly responsibilities that never change and find times where I could be more intentional with my time for me and my time with my kids.
For example:
-When I nurse Ireland in the rocking chair before her naps, I can read a few pages or more of a good book. Instead of responding to the never ending chatter of social information on my phone, I can read something that is life giving for me.
-When I have meals with my kids, I can be intentional about playing music and light some candles to bring a nice mood to our family time.  (I had to put little music notes and a pathetic drawing of  candle to remind my foggy brain.)
-When Aria is home and Ireland is napping I can make that time all about devoting to playing with Aria and not let other things get in the way.
-When both of the girls are down for naps, I can make it about writing, songwriting, learning Spanish etc.
- And I do Laundry only on fridays in between my duties with the kids. I will refuse to do laundry everyday!
-Yes, I know that sleep time comes early, but it gets me rejuvenated to be the mom I want to be and have the energy to enjoy my breaks times the next day.

It's a Wrap! The final days.

Nick preaching it

My man singing it

Ireland doing her thing (w/Nick)

Well the "Stand Strong Living Without Limits West Coast Tour" is coming to a close. We have only a few more days left as I am writing this. I am currently with my girls on the tour bus without Tyrone (who had to play at a wedding in Dallas).  We actually got off the bus last night at 3am to move into hotel rooms because the AC stopped working on the bus. It was getting hot real quick.

Am I exhausted and  a bit sleep deprived? Yes. Has everyday taken some work to get going with our family of four (up and out of the bus for showers, breakfast, lunch and dinner, unpacking, re-packing etc)? Yes. Did the planning take some time? Yes. Were we all out of whack, off our schedule and some form of routine? Yes.

 

But would I have rather stayed home- comfortable and predictable? No. Would I have wanted to miss out on the friendships and the memories? No. Would I have wanted my girls to miss this opportunity to interact with so many amazing and loving people? No way.

Last night when we got to our hotel room at 3am, (so many lovely new found friends helping get my girls and I situated) Aria started to whimper and she said "I miss all of our friends!" She meant being with all our bus mates.  She may take it hard when we have to leave our bus family. Aria has been the social butterfly. She wanders around saying hi to everyone and if I forget to say hi to someone she quickly reminds me "Say Hi to ______ mommy! Give them a hug!" She also asks Nick and everyone else (especially men I might add) "do you like my dress?", almost every morning without fail.

Aria and Kiyoshi looking for "ghosts" in the green room with Michael (LWL staff). Mike volunteers regularly to help Aria find ghosts in between his many tasks.

So would I do it again, if given the opportunity?  The answer is a resounding YES.  I am always up for the adventure even if I belly ache about having to pack, plan, and be sleep deprived. I know it was better to go on the adventure. To learn. To face the challenge. To see that I could accomplish mothering on a tour bus for 2 weeks! To adapt. To see how well my kids adapt. To interact with and love others. To experience how well others could love and support us back too.

On big travel days with the kids, I have always prayed that I would make it through okay, and I have always seen God be faithful and provide me sweet people (Angels truly) along the way. This tour was no different.

A while back I ran into another mother traveling with her kids and she came up to me and she said:

"I have followed all of your travels and seen all your pictures! I remember reading once that you were nursing your daughter on the top of a double decker bus in NYC, under a pancho in the rain! And I thought if you could do it, I could too! Thanks for inspiring me!" 

I totally forgot that I did that until she reminded me! Suddenly funny traveling memories flooded my foggy mom brain! Memories I can laugh about and be grateful for. 

I hope that I will always be up for the adventure and I hope you will too.

Ireland with Irma and Uri, our bus mates and new found friends.

The amazing Peter. Always around to help!

Kanae with the kiddos. A stop at Laguna Beach

Playing in the sand

Thai food take out in a hotel lobby somewhere - someplace.

It's always time to play and dance. Lunch time with the whole group.

Bedtime routine in the bus

Ireland giving Nick the stare down in the back of the car.

Mommy friends. So nice to have Kanae Vujicic with me on the journey. (Kiyoshi and Aria had fun together as long as they weren't wanting the same toy) ;)

Family Tour Bus -Day 9- Sleep

(Aria and Nick on the family tour bus.)

I never realized how important sleep was to me until I became a mom and I didn't get enough of it. I think I took sleep for granted, because I could always get more of it here and there when I had no kids and no one to take care of but myself.  I used to sleep in. I used to stay up late without feeling guilty. I used to get productive and creative late at night. Now if I stay up late, I already get grumpy about it knowing that I'm gonna have to get up so early and hate it. So really someone smarter than me should just sing me a lullaby and put me down to bed at an appropriate scheduled time nightly, because I can't seem to.

I have a friend that has 4 kids and she used to host all of us friends at her house  (when her 4 kids were maybe 5 years and under).  Come 10pm, as we were all laughing and having a good time, she'd announce very forwardly and quite loudly, "Goodnight, I'm going to bed!" and then she would disappear. I used to laugh about how militant she was about her sleep... but now I totally get it. 

If I don't get my sleep, I kind of hate the world. I may even hate you, and anything else that crosses my path. Everything looks a little bleak. My "love" and my "serving" meter is quite low. 

Can you tell that I am writing this after not having enough sleep?

I am on the tour bus awake with Ireland at 6AM in the back lounge while everyone is sleeping, cozy in their bunks with visions of sugar plums and goody gum drops dancing in their heads (side note: who has ever had a sugar plum or a gum drop dancing in their head?! Really?! I'm not a sweet tooth, so I don't get that visual for a dream- if you have had that dream, please do share!)

This tour has been a family adventure and we have already built some great memories as a family and with others, but I have been non-stop busy with little break or rest. I'm exhausted at the moment.

This same friend who would announce her bedtime to all of us when we were at her house, inspired a duet Tyrone and I wrote for our duet album. The story goes, that I was talking to her over the phone one night, she (already 3 kids in to mom life) and me (no kids and completely oblivious). She was talking about all that she had to do, how little time she had for anything, and how stressed her body was. Like the amazing and understanding friend I was, I decided to interject my "wisdom lacking" two cents, and said "What you are in need of is a girls night out!" (I was probably seeking some kind of fun night for her and I, because I missed her having time for that- a completely selfish suggestion on my end) and she immediately shut me up and said, 

"No! What I need is a hotel room by myself, with no kids, no husband, and no one needing me so that I can sleep!"

Hearing her, and all my other friends in the thick of child rearing, inspired some of the lyrics to our song "The Exhausted Spouse".  I hear them in a whole new way, now that I am also in the thick of mothering young kids. I understand your pain friends!

Hmm, all this rambling has produced a great thought. Maybe I should just ask the whole team on this tour if I can have a hotel room to myself for the night, and if they could all team up and watch my kids on the bus?!

I think I could use a little alone time, just God and I, to rejuvenate my mom battery.

Nough said.

A rare moment to enjoy my Ireland on a rocking chair

Hotel time and room service in Seattle

Creative activities are a must when traveling! (Aria makes up a game on the Seattle ferry)

Family Touring Day 4, 5 and 6

Traveling in a tour bus is kinda like camping in style.  

It's a tour bus- it's cool, it's comfy, it's sleek, it's got leather couches, sinks, a toilet, electric plugs, flat screen TVs, a microwave, drink holders, lights and cabinets. It's expensive (just the daily cost to use a tour bus for example is, I don't know, A LOT!), it's a big hunk of metal and of course it looks cool pulling up to a venue ("whoever is in it must be a big deal").

It's like camping because-You are always around people. You eat together. Sleep in bunks by each other. Tell stories into the night. Group text to communicate your whereabouts. Help each other pack things in and out of the bus. Share food. Share the bathroom. Keep your stuff in small limited space compartments. etc.

Every morning you need to pack a little  "get ready bag" with fresh clothes, toiletries etc (in my case 2 large tote bags, a diaper bag, a back pack of toys, snacks and a stroller for our family) and you get out of the bus to head over to the hotel that the bus has pulled up to overnight while you were sleeping. You head over to the hotel (sometimes a close walk, sometimes a farther one) in your pajamas and messy hair (if you're too busy to care what people think, like me). You get to use one of two hotel rooms shared by all of us on the two tour buses to take showers and get ready for the day.

So this touring life is a good amount of BUSY for us as parents of two little ones. Lots of pre-planning on my end every time we leave the bus. Do I have everything? Enough diapers?  Distraction toys for Aria? Water? Snacks? (Cause I know half way into our short journey to the hotel Aria will desperately say "I'm thirsty" or "Mommy but please can I have a snack?") 

All of this to say it has taught me to be flexible and just go with the flow. Traveling as a family just makes me totally appreciate how much of a team my husband and I are together as we parent both of our daughters' as they have needs sometimes all at once.

The Vujicic family and their team have been so easy to live amongst. They are all kind, helpful and thoughtful. Nick treats us like we are his guests visiting his traveling vacation home. He is very intentional. He constantly asks if we need anything, if he can help and he communicates lunch gatherings and other group plans to us and makes sure we are content. Nick also has several people who work for him and help Nick to help others the way Nick sees fit. (Tour managers, admin assistants, media guys, camera guys, a Compassion rep, a publicist  and merch helpers. He has a handler who picks him up, helps move him and really his whole family (including us) whenever it is needed. It's been eye opening what an operation Life Without Limbs is and Nick truly is the well respected and loved chief of staff.

I knew of Nick, but I never realized until we joined them on tour what a big name he is. People recognize him all the time and sometimes even if they don't recognize him, they can't help but stare at the phenomenon of him. The first thing I witnessed that Nick does when he enters a place (and all eyes are on him), is say 

"Hi I'm Nick, what's your name?"..."Give me a hug." He seems to have learned to break down the barriers of awkwardness and staring with his friendly and confident nature. 

You can't help but not like Nick. You can't help but not be impressed by what a confident man of purpose he is. He lives a life many people with arms and legs could only dream of and be jealous of quite frankly. He lives a confident life of purpose. God has truly given Nick a platform like no other to encourage and uplift others with hope and faith in Jesus. He is the first to admit that he didn't always think he had purpose, but now he is walking in it and my can you see how it glows.

Aria and Todd (who runs the bus operations) sharing toys on the bus.

Ireland is now 6 months old on tour!

Strolling to the hotel for showers

Stopping to have daddy put a flower in her hair.

Playtime at the hotel.

Quick stop at Snoqualmie Falls. Breathtaking.

Kanae and Ireland having a sweet moment in one of the church nurseries.

Stand Strong on a Tour Bus

After days and nights of mommy research (of "how to sleep a 3 year old and a 6 month old on a tour bus"- not a lot of posts/blogs to find about that), we are finally beginning our family road trip on a tour bus for 2 weeks! My talented man @tyronewellsofficial will be playing some of his music before the amazing Nick Vujicic (www.lifewithoutlimbs.org) hits the stage (all over the west coast). It's gonna be pretty great and what will also be an adventure is our families will be living life on a tour bus together! I will be posting blogs about all of this very soon (when I get a moment to myself where I don't want to sleep) #standstrongtour #livinglifewithoutlimits #lifewithoutlimbs #nickvujicic #tyronewells #tyroneandelina #cosmopolitanhousewife #travelandeatwithtyroneandelina #travelswithfamily #travelswithkids #tourbus #tourbuswithkids 

Planning for a Tour Bus- Day 1 & Day 2

I once heard that you should have a short engagement before marriage (I followed those instructions as best I could in my own engagement) Date someone for a good long while to get to know them and then once you know you want to get married and you get engaged why drag on the planning of your wedding for a long LONG time?!

 Why plan for 2.5 years a big ONE day event? 

Why torture yourself?

I think your engagement should be short because you can get stressed with all the details and you can keep adding more unnecessary details to your wedding the longer you have time to think about it. I can plan, but I don't like to plan, maybe that's why too much time to plan a wedding sounds absolutely dreadful to me.

Why am I talking about this? I am losing my train of thought...mom-nesia, mom fog-whatever you call it (You must know that I drove 3 miles home with my iPhone on the roof of my car! So grateful for my Speck grip case! At least my kids were in the car strapped in. I have my priorities straight.) 

 

Oh! Here's why...All that rambling about planning weddings to say that I liken the stress of planning a wedding to planning for a trip with kids! I just hate the planning process. You do all the hard work to plan for the wedding day so that on that day you can let go and have fun. Planning and packing for a trip is my least favorite thing and I can't wait til it's over and we are on the trip having fun. 

My husband knows that a cloud gathers over my head and my demeanor when I am about to pack. He looks at me and says something like "Let me guess, are you starting to pout about packing?" I begin to whine about the job and hard work of packing. He must know every detail and all my thoughts about "shoud I do this?" and "should I do that?" 

Tell me I get to go on a trip and explore somewhere new and I am so happy like a child at Christmas. But tell me I have to pack and I whine like a child who dropped her ice cream.  I. Just. Can't. Stand. Packing. I think I need someone to hold my hand and give me hugs  throughout the whole packing process. Wah!

I didn't even like packing for myself when I was single. So now that I have to pack for myself and two young kids (and sometimes a dog), I can get a little crazy in my head until the day when we put all the suitcases into the car and drive away. Once we drive away, I breathe a sigh of relief that I did what I could do and that's the end of it. The planning process is over yay! I am a whole new person and I can just roll with it!

Speaking of "roll with it", we are literally rolling on the wheels of a tour bus right now. And I am lying here feeling a bit of satisfaction and success that I did PLAN. Below my bunk is my 3 year old daughter Aria (who sleeps like she's in a wrestling match) secured in her bed with a Zippy Sack (there is an obnoxious commercial on TV about it, luring all kids to want one. I hope you get to see it!)  I PLANNED for how I could keep her in a bed while flying down a highway at full speed and so far it's doing the trick! Thank you Zippy Sack for your obnoxious commercial.

 Directly across from Aria is Ireland (6 months) and she is sleeping in a Crib tent (secured with straps underneath the mattress) because I PLANNED ahead of time how I would keep a rolling and face planting 6 month safe in her own tour bus bed. So far so good with the plan. Mommy success!

I know the first thing about keeping them safe is to plan to not have them sleep with me.  I learned early on as a child that I was a dangerous snoozer when any stuffed animal I had on my bed would be flung across the room by morning. The end of my wanting stuffed animals as a child, I didn't see the point. 

Well all this PLANNING didn't help me PLAN for how I would sleep in a moving hunk of medal. I am still awake. It's not normal to bounce and sway while I sleep. Maybe I should have ordered another Zippy Sack!

The Gear! (Our first night was in a hotel)

Heading over in our caravan of cars to load onto the tour bus. It's a whole crew of us but it already feels like new family. (More details about that later. Now I'm nursing a child in the back lounge, surviving on maybe 3  solid hours of sleep)

The only dream...

Marriage 365 @marriage365 wrote an article "The One Dream You Can't Lose" -about the dreams we have in marriage and some of the dreams we have to let go of. In this article they feature our Tyrone and Elina duet CD "Different As Can Be" and talk about the lyrics to one of our duets called "The Only Dream". Truly Honored. Marriage 365 is founded by an amazing couple Meygan and Casey Caston who have faced huge challenges in their own marriage and now they try to encourage others to stay commited to their marriage using social media, encouragement and ideas for how to keep your marriage thriving.

http://marriage365.org

Pumping Mama Travels

Writing from DC ;). Husband beside me sleeping like a baby. It's 7:45 AM here and I can't sleep because I am used to Ireland waking up (not sleeping like Tyrone) and being hungry around this time (totally missing my opportunity to sleep in away from the kids! Lame!)

Yesterday I sat at LAX with time to spare, extremely excited to sit there and dive into my Bible study book I haven't had much alone time for. I was enjoying my freedom from motherly duties. Just lounging, so sweet, and then, I realized- 

I'VE GOTTA PUMP!! WHERE THE HECK DO I PUMP?!

 I don't want to sit on a public toilet to pump. How bout a power source? That will be by the sink if there is one. I don't want to be standing at the restroom counter to pump! Saying hello to all the ladies as they wash their hands!! "Hi, would you look at me, don't mind me, I'm just pumping my boobs!" 

Thank the Lord I saw a SIGN (it was like a holy moment!) the sign said "Mother's Room". Well, this glorious sounding "Mother's Room" was not at all close to the sign. I found out it was all the way down at terminal 5 (like a mile away!) I had my pump bag, a garment bag, my big purse (with all my snacks and all the reading I was gonna get done in all my amazing free time) and not to mention I was luging my heavy boobs!!!(you think I would go a little lighter without kids!!) 

I was already sweating with my mom hormones as I started my walk to find this ""Mother's Room". Meanwhile, I'm thinking of all those women I saw in Uganda carrying baskets on their head, a baby on their back and a water bucket in their hand, so I felt like a total wuss!  (Mom comparison= mom guilt. Can you believe all the stuff we women can think about at one time?!) 

Well thank you Lord again for a nice employee with a golf cart sitting at the bottom of the escalator asking me (the total wuss) where I would like to go!!!! (due to all of the construction at LAX,  he was there to help people like me) He drove me down a long hallway and told me how to get to the "Mother's Room" . Which by the way, the highly sought after "Mother's Room" ended up being somewhat of a storage closet with a sink and a bench. But with PRIVACY that's the key word. All I need. After I was done, this same nice employee got me back just in time to board the plane!!

 God is good! 

When I got on the plane I thought "Ahhh, how nice it is to not be tending to a child every minute of the flight" and I happily started to read a novel I had put on hold since Ireland was born. By page two, I started to yawn and by page three, I was passed out. I think I woke myself up cause I started to drool.

Then I thought I've gotta go pump again! 

The luxurious travel adventures of a nursing mom. Just imagine and enjoy the thought of me pumping in the airplane bathroom :).

BELOW PICTURE-Me feeling pretty cool that I'm getting a ride down this long hallway! Thanks to the high end mommy pumping services at LAX. 

But,

Dear LAX,
please add some wallpaper, shag carpet, a plush couch, a pleasant scent and some free water bottles to your somewhat dreary jail cell like room that you have pleasantly titled "Mother's Room". But hey, I'll stop complaining, because you actually thought of a great room like this for mothers! Now go and  build one in every terminal and we mothers will come!

 (By the way you can bring your pump and your milk bags, cooling packs etc. through security, they just need to check it. I brought 5 days worth of my milk home in my carry on!)

Consoled by a 4 month old

Sweetest Ireland, little did you know how comforting and calming you were as I changed your diaper. You smiled at me and softly rubbed my arm as if you knew I was stressing out and my blood pressure was rising.

"Your big sister is driving me crazy!" I told you as you cooed at me trying to get my face to soften and smile back at you. As your big sister Aria was screaming demands from her room you just smiled and reminded me that I was normal, still a good mommy and appreciated by you. I was fulfilling your basic needs: diaper changes, milk, smiling time etc. I am still the best in your eyes.

You came into this world already having to share time with me and you have been so patient and good natured about it. You are such a gift. God must have known I was gonna have my work cut out for me with a 3 year old and he wanted to give me a ray a of sunshine, YOU!

You arrived on November 30th 2014, on a much needed day of rain. Our land was in a drought and you came on a day when everyone was celebrating the much needed rain. Beautiful rain that gives life and makes all things green. Shamrock green like the rain thriving country you are named after.

Precious luck.

A much needed blessing.

Only 4 months later, your smile is always so ready to form anytime I get a chance to interact with you or sing with you. Your giggles seem to always be just behind the surface ready to explode out with a song or a cheek squeeze.

Sweet little Ireland Mele, thank you for your love and forgiveness as I learn to mother two. I often feel like I am juggler trying to juggle the needs of you and your sister and I am failing and should exit the stage. I feel guilty enjoying too many of your smiles while your sister is begging for my play time. However you seem to take whatever you can get with grace and for that I thank you.

I never knew how I was going to make room in my heart for two, since your sister seemed to take all of it, but when you arrived, my heart just expanded and keeps growing and growing.

3 Beautiful Years

Dear Aria,

I know this will sound like a broken record as you get older, in fact I always thought that when adults would all say this to me, BUT I'll say it, I can't believe you are already 3 my precious daughter!

I will never forget the way I felt when I first held you after 22 hours of labor, an emergency scare and an unplanned C-section. All the pain and all the exhaustion just melted away as I looked at you. This was now your birth story, it was no longer horrific, it was the beautiful and special way you came into our lives and it became a beautiful story.

I remember fumbling through my first moments with you just trying to figure out how to do this 24 hour job called MOM. No one prepares you for it. But one thing I always knew through exhaustion, worry, frustration, sleepless nights and mom fog, was that I LOVED YOU.

I could go on and on about memories of year 1 and year 2, but I'll save that for another time (if I can remember it) Right now I'd just like to talk about YOU at year 3.

You are a BIG GIRL, as you like to say.

You'll do it. You want to try it.  You want to hold it. You will be brave. You are a big sister. And when you get even bigger, you will drink coffee and have long hair like "Elsa".

You are my CHATTERBOX. 

You make me laugh when you talk into my face with no bodily boundaries. You are literally often times, putting your mouth an inch from my face and speaking or spitting into my eyes just to make sure I hear you and my eyes see the words your lips are mouthing. 

I often forget that you are just a toddler when I talk to you. You speak so clearly back to me and you know so many words now. I forget that that doesn't mean you understand all of the words you use.

 Sometimes your mouth is moving so fast but your brain hasn't given you a new word, so like a broken record you say "I,I,I, I want, I want, I wanna, I just wanna"

You are the LOUD IMAGINATION I hear behind me in the car, in the house and on the playground. 

You are in an enchanted castle at the park or chatting with 10 plus friends behind me in the car.

You make up a dialogue between your toys and suddenly you are singing, pretending to cry and laughing as you enjoy your new plastic playmates. Its amazing to me what you can do with a small back pack that holds only a plastic minnie mouse, a pig and a train.

You are my DAILY SHOW. 

"Ladies and girls, boys and gentlemen (in some kind of order like that). Prepare for Aria!" you shout as you step up on the stage (a small wooden chair) and sing us a song (probably Frozen's "Let it go"). 

You think everyone sings on stage for work. I say "_______ is at work." and you say "Is she singing mommy?"

You are my OPEN SPACES. 

Because every large space is asking for you and mommy to dance all over it. "Come on mommy, Dance!" you say.

I don't ever want to forget tearing up as we danced in an empty movie theatre in Nashville. You, Daddy, Mommy and Ireland all dancing because of your immediate enthusiasm to what looked like an open dance floor in the front of the movie screen.

You are my SWEET MOMENTS at bedtime when after wiggle worming into your pajamas, reading books, saying prayers and chatting your face off to me, you snuggle close to me sucking your thumb and sniffing your "Eli" blanket and you say, "Hold me momma." And at that moment all the tug of wars we've had and challenges you have given me for your independence that day, fade away in that moment. I am back to being your mama and you are back to being my baby girl.

Though I feel sad that my baby girl is growing up, I still look forward to telling you like a broken record on many birthdays to come that "I can't believe you are already ____!", because that means I will have many more moments to remember you by, many more things to learn and love about you. 

So grow my daughter and amaze me at how fast you do it and I will always be surprised, amazed and your biggest fan always!
  

Your momma

Refresh Conference

Thank you to all our friends and family who prayed and encouraged us about this weekend ahead of time. Privileged and so honored to share the music and our duets at an amazing marriage conference in San Diego this weekend. #ICHOOSELOVE #ichooselove #married4life #M4L #tyroneandelina #tyroneandelinadifferentascanbe #duets  #cosmopolitanhousewife 

2 Little Girls As My Wedding Dates

sister time at the hotel in Seattle

Last month we traveled to Seattle for a dear friend's wedding. This was our second trip with two kids. Aria not yet 3 years and Ireland only 8 weeks old. It was fun to be together as a family roaming around the city. We stayed at a boutique hotel in the the heart of the city one night and then moved out by the harbor the next couple nights.

 I love Seattle! I can share with you all of my favorite places, but that is for another blog.

All went quite smooth in this rainy city UNTIL the wedding. 

Aria ready to party at the wedding

I do not know what I was thinking, but I guess I wasn't thinking. 

I have the after pregnancy breastfeeding mommy brain, so I guess that is my excuse. (but won't that excuse be ours for the rest of our lives mommies? That is a scary thought)

 I knew my husband would be occupied as the best man and so it was me and the girls on our own for the wedding.  

Me, on my own. 

Knowing that already should have been a red flag for me to be creative and get my arsenal of distractions ready, but did I? No, I left the car like the scattered mom that I am. I left the car secured and locked with all toys, extra snacks and the kindle (my husband kept the keys) and I followed my daughter to where she wanted to sit in the church with two boys she had played with the night before. 

My 3 Big Mistakes!

1) leaving the car keys with my husband (who would be standing on stage all wedding)

2) leaving toys, extra snacks and the kindle in the car! (my distraction kit)-Please tell me other mommies do this all the time too? So I don't feel like such a loser!

3)sitting in the middle of the church surrounded by other guests 

I should have sat myself and my girls in our own little quiet corner, maybe I should have even looked for a mommy room where I could still see the ceremony, but be hidden away from all civilization and those who don't know what it is like to have two littles. (thank God for churches who have those kind of rooms! The Holy Spirit must have been speaking to some amazing women in those churches)

Well all seemed to be going well. 

The ceremony hadn't started.

Aria was happily talking to the boys in our row. Ireland was still content and sleeping in her car seat after her morning mommy milk breakfast. I was talking with my dear friends sitting nearby.

Aria began to whine " I want a snack mama!" so I reached down to find a snack, praying there actually was one. Fortunately I found a left over bag of yogurt covered blueberries in the diaper bag and handed it to her. she sat joyfully and ate them. Success!

 Then the procession began. Our dear friend the groom looked so happy as he watched his beautiful bride walk down the aisle (I held up Aria so she could see). I thought of how excited I was to witness this moment for our friend who we had prayed would find someone for many years. He had also waited to kiss his bride on the lips until their wedding day. How cool and next to impossible is that? I was giddy to see their first kiss!! 

As the music died down and all was getting quiet, Aria discovered that the blueberry snack was coming to an end and the packaging made a really cool loud crinkling noise. So she began to find great entertainment in making noise with her new toy. I quickly grabbed it to stop her and across her face was this look of betrayal and the beginning of a scream, so I hovered over her and shushed her as quietly as I could. A minute or so later, when I wasn't looking, Aria found an envelope in the chair pocket in front of her and began to crinkle it and look at me as if " now what are you gonna do mom?". I pulled that away and began the shushing process all over again.

Well as the ceremony got even more quiet Ireland started to move her head in that "I'm getting hungry and I am about to cry now" kind of way so I quickly grabbed my nursing cover, unbuttoned my top and pulled her to me and tried to master the art of an amazingly smooth latch job. Sigh, done. 

Then Ireland started to suck loud, snort and breathe heavy as she nursed and I was sure all around could hear and were being distracted from watching their friends get married, with the fact that a baby was attached to a boob and feeding. All I could do was turn red with embarrassment, as I  imagined Ireland's thirsty noises were creating a visual for ALL that a baby was greedily enjoying my nipple!!! She sounded like a dog lapping up water after a very long walk!  And if things couldn't get worse, Aria decided it would be a fun activity to lift my nursing cover up and over her head like a parachute game as she giggled with glee. I was mortified and tried to whisper yell (thats a mommy term, I think most moms know how to- "whisper yell") "Aria, stop it, stop it now!" I whisper yelled over and over. Aria continued to giggle and hide in and out, in and out, as I held onto the nursing cover for dear life. Ireland meanwhile, was getting fussy because I was moving so much from my nursing cover "Tug of War" with Aria that I decided to put Ireland on the other side and move my nursing cover to the other half of me. As I moved my cover away from Aria's grasp, I heard the pastor say,

 "And now the couple would like to read their personal vows to each other". 

Just then, Aria shouted for all to hear "Hey! you're not sharing! Mommy! You're not sharing with me!". All because I pulled the nursing cover away from her. It was her new toy I had deprived her of. Then Ireland let out a cry and all I could think of to do was to leave! To escape from embarrassment. Leave my seat. Go somewhere to nurse in peace and stop distracting everyone. I rushed out of our row with Ireland and the nursing cover around me like a backwards mommy cape. I wasn't  even thinking what do with Aria in this moment, I just needed to escape. As I ran to the back rows,  a cry rang out "mommy! " from where I had left Aria and suddenly I saw my friend scoop Aria up and rush her to me. We both ran with the kids down the stairs to the comfort of a table with no onlookers. My friend quickly pulled out his phone like the skilled dad he is and started playing the movie Frozen for Aria to watch. She was instantly so happy and clueless to the chaos and drama she just caused me. Now was my chance to let out a terrified laugh at all that just happened and how ridiculous it was. My laughter then turned to self pity that I didn't  get to see much of my friend's wedding at all. As Aria giggled and smiled watching Frozen. My heart rate started to slow and I sat there thinking of my mistakes and what I could have done differently.

Maybe instead of just the 3 Big Mistakes I mentioned previously , maybe it really should be 5 Big Mistakes:

4) watching young children on your own at a wedding 

5) bringing your children to a wedding!!!

I can dwell on these mistakes.  I can think of all the ways other moms may judge me and feel like a failure or I can use them to fuel the success of my next venture out with the kids. I will choose the latter, knowing I will always want to get out with my kids and experience life and travel no matter what, even if it means I have quite a few embarrassing mommy moments to share! How bout you? Any you would be willing to share with me?

Sweet moments at the wedding after party. So happy for you David and Diane!